Rant of an Arbitrary College Student

Arbitrary: Based on random choice or personal whim, rather than any reason or system.

This is literally my life. I have no reason. I have no rhyme. Everything I do is random and I can't help it. It's not my fault honestly. I've tried to be organized...it just never turns out that way. Of course I have work which is organized, but outside of work? I'm hopeless. I'm not complaining of course, but seriously guys. It's awful.

Why didn't anyone tell us college students that there isn't some magical moment when you first step foot inside a college and suddenly know what to do with your life? No beaming sunlight, no angel flying down to personally hand deliver you your destiny, no mind blowing moment, nada. And let's not forget to mention that even when you graduate (in my case community) college you still have absolutely no idea what you're supposed to do. Should you take the road where you're making loads of money and driving in a fancy European sports car, but yet you can't figure out why you're unhappy...or should you take the road where you're not making the most money you could be, and driving in a 1992 Ford Taurus (first car-heyoooo!) and you ARE happy?

The answer should be obvious right? NO, IT'S TOTALLY NOT. Should you be financially stable, or not? Should you be able to financially support your family, or not? Am I willing to place my happiness above the people that need me? Of course not...because those people I would literally do anything for. But, at the same time, I only have one life, so shouldn't I be doing something that I love? I feel like the answer is right there, and I'm so close to grasping it. Some days I say yes...I should do what I want. This is my life. On other days, I think about my future and what will happen if I do go for the option that makes more money.

I guess all I'm saying is, is that life is really rough and I feel like no one prepared us for the decisions we are trying to make. One second we have to ask permission to go the bathroom, and the next we're making life changing resolutions. I know what I'll end up doing, and I know I'll be happy in the end, but I'll always wonder if I should have gone the other way.No matter what I do in life there are always going to be the "what ifs", but I feel like it's important to make sure you don't get caught up in the "what ifs" scenarios. Because the decisions you and I make are important, and yes they're life changing, but we do them for a reason regardless of whether we know what it is yet. Don't give up yet, do what you need to do. And above all, be happy.